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[Naruto Fic] The Fall of Icarus 03.b

And so there we finally have it. part two of the chapter that would not end. i'm kind of happy with but at the same time i keep thinking i missed something. *sigh*

Previously: 01 02 03.a

The Fall of Icarus
By: Ken
Word Count: 3,209
Began: 09.15.2004
Pairing: Neji x Naruto, Gai x Kakashi
Disclaimer: Naruto is a product of Kishimoto Masashi. If i owned it Gai would have been in the first three episodes. poor Maito Gai -- to be upstaged by Iruka of all characters.
Comments: with Many Thanks to my beta TJ Dragonblade.

Chapter 03.b: The End of the Line

Tsunade didn’t have long to wait before her quarry stood before her. The Hokage would almost swear that he’d been eavesdropping outside the window from how little time it took to locate him. Or, maybe Shizune had had the good sense to realize how precarious her boss’s temper was at the moment.

“You sent for me, Lady Godaime?” Neji queried as came to stand before her desk.

She studied him a moment. Hyuuga Neji was his clan’s prodigy. He was the studious, hardworking, quiet type from what she had discerned over the years. Neji was only fifteen years old, yet already a jounin. That was considerably impressive considering they lived in a time of relative peace. Shinobi didn’t usually advance so fast when there wasn’t constant war. When she’d promoted him from genin to chuunin, then chuunin to jounin she’d remarked that Neji had excellent instincts, both on the battlefield and as a leader. One could say his keen observation and analysis skills were on par with Nara Shikamaru’s.

When members of his clan reached fifteen most were arranged to begin courtship rituals.

Her headache threatened again as she put it all together.

So, The Hyuuga Elders have a hard on for this one, do they? Hyuuga Hiashi sent a messenger by this morning concerning his nephew but the Elders don’t agree with his decision. Because they can’t disobey the Hyuuga Head they found a loophole. The Elders couldn’t outright say they wanted just Neji -- their best and brightest --to produce progeny so they had to ask for the whole clan and rile the other clans into doing the same.

Tsunade swallowed her disgust.

She pulled a scroll from the pile and handed it to the jounin. Tsunade steepled her fingers before her mouth and perched her chin upon them as she regarded him. “I’ll be sending you on a reconnaissance mission. It should take no longer than a week.”

Neji nodded.

“When you return you are to report to the Hyuuga compound for a period of no less than three hours to attend to familial duties. For the foreseeable future, whenever you return from a mission you are to report for that amount of time.” Her eyes narrowed. “Before you ask, the answer is ‘no’ that interlude is not deducted from your standard time off.”

Neji took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I apologize for the inconvenience. I’m sure it will amount to nothing.”

He didn’t look surprised, nor particularly bothered either, she noticed. He appeared confident and in control despite what the Hyuuga Elders had undoubtedly devised. She didn’t know Neji very well, but she had heard about the trials he endured as a member of the less favored Branch Family.

On the day he’d been promoted to jounin she had even witnessed his reaction to a Souke member. After congratulating him she had bid him farewell for the evening. Neji had taken a barely travelled back-route out of the building -- one Tsunade used when she needed a break and didn’t want to be found and scolded by Shizune. She’d been wandering around inside the building in an attempt to refocus her mind when she happened to look out a window and see her brand new jounin hemmed up by three Hyuuga women on the empty street. One pale-skinned girl in a silk kimono with lustrous black hair piled upon her head, eyebrows plucked into a perfect arch, and lips painted bright red had been jabbing a finger into Neji’s chest. The beauty mark resting under her right eye twitched with every word she said. Tsunade had been too far away to hear, and couldn’t interfere as it was a clan matter, but she had noted the proud yet dejected slump to Neji’s shoulders as he looked at the ground. No expression touched his face but the anger that radiated from him could have been a signal flare. That had been the fury of resentment, of having power but unable to use it. It hadn’t mattered what he did or didn’t do, that girl won.

Neji was never confident when it came to his family.

Tsunade’s chin slid off her hands as realization struck. “You -- You’ve already taken care of it haven’t you?” she demanded.

Tsunade would never admit to condoning Bunke training, but as Hyuuga Neji stood straight and blank-faced before her she felt a measure of pride and satisfaction that such a powerful, well-mannered young man was a part of the village. His mannerisms did not favor her as she was sure the completely flabbergasted expression she wore was not how a Hokage should ever look.

“Lady Godaime, I am at a loss for what you could possibly mean,” he replied calmly.

Tsunade shook her head. Such as waste, she lamented.

“And why would you need to do something like that? Just this morning your Uncle has reportedly delivered an edict to the Hyuuga Elders to leave you alone despite what they’re trying to do. I’ve seen paperwork requesting an allotment be sent to an apartment complex instead of the Hyuuga coffers for your upkeep. You’re free. So why would you need to go so far?”

Hyuuga Neji stood straight and undaunted as he addressed her. “Lady, no disrespect, but you don’t know the Souke. The only true freedom there is for a Bunke member is death. My Uncle is granting me a reprieve but it won’t last forever. As important as it is to the Hyuuga Head to improve relations with the Bunke it’s more important to keep the peace within the clan. He can’t be seen as biased.” Neji met her eyes without wavering. “As my position within the clan threatens the hierarchy, I must remove myself from the equation. If I have nothing to give then there is nothing to lose.” He took a breath, the only hint that he wasn’t as composed he would have her think. “The Elders can’t know and I respectfully request that you not tell them.”

Tsunade was sure The Hyuuga Elders couldn’t know -- a vasectomy was illegal in the Hyuuga Clan, especially for servants. Neji was making himself nothing to lose but nothing to gain either; a dangerous balance to keep when one was Hyuuga. The Godaime pursed her lips as she absorbed the predicament, looked down at her desk at the paperwork she had yet to get to. She frowned as her anger rekindled upon sight of the request the council advisors had dropped off. Tsunade had had about enough of old people meddling.

She recalled the notes the Third had taken concerning the rift between the Main House and the Branch House of the Hyuuga. The Third’s missives had stated Neji was brilliant but a fatalist with a surly attitude toward his teammates and his clan. Tsunade could not see that child in the one before her. This boy did not cower in the face of adversity. This was the boy she had found in Naruto’s hospital room years ago; in no condition to be out of bed yet willing to break himself in half to cheer her foolish grandson.

“And you’re certain you did the procedure correctly?” she asked.

Neji blinked, the only hint that he was startled by the question. “Of course.”

Precision wasn’t something one had to worry about where the Hyuuga were involved. She somehow refrained from sighing. It wasn’t the ‘Hokage-thing’ to do to let Neji go, but how could she clip his wings when he’d fought so hard to fly? She liked the Hyuuga Neji who was confident much more than the one who was bitter.

“Your assignment starts first thing tomorrow morning. Might I suggest ice until then?”

She lifted a pointed eyebrow but only succeeded in gaining another blink.

“Neji,” Tsunade began as the jounin half turned toward the door. “What did you say to my grands-- Naruto that day in the hospital? He was really depressed before you talked to him.”

The smallest of smirks touched the young Hyuuga’s lips. “I only reminded him of what he was.”

“Oh?” Intrigued, Tsunade tilted her head to the side. “And what is that?”

“A loser,” Neji answered, but there was a twinkle in his white eyes and a chuckle in his voice as he said it.

How curious, Tsunade reflected as Neji left. That was the most emotion she had seen from Neji in almost three years. If she didn’t know any better she would wager that Hyuuga Neji harbored a crush on her cute grandson.

====~- X -~====

Neji bit his tongue to stifle a groan of discomfort and gingerly shifted the ice pack. The research he had conducted was very misleading. Why had he thought that the lack of an incision would mean no pain? The endorphins from the orgasm had worn off, the euphoria of spiting the Souke, long gone. The terror of the Hokage punishing him for the very illegal act he had committed was soothed by the Lady Godaime herself. No incision, but trauma was still trauma. Neji gritted his teeth. He didn’t get to complain.

He decided to focus on his new apartment. It was nice, chosen mostly for its distance from the Hyuuga estate, but also because the landlord catered to ninja in providing fully furnished holdings. The apartment was a single room shaped in a katakana ‘ト’ (to). From the front door if one looked left one would see a kitchen and a door to the bathroom, to the right was a sitting area replete with a couch, a coffee table, and small television. In the niche was his full-sized bed, granted privacy only by the strategic placement of a colorful four-panel shoji screen depicting the four seasons at the foot of it. When he felt better he knew he would appreciate it more, but even so it was a very cozy set up. He laid on his bed on top of the blankets, a loosely wrapped fundoshi his only adornment as he cradled an ice pack, with a day off, and not a Souke to command him. If not for the pain this could have been an ideal arrangement.

A nap was in order. If he didn’t sleep he would brood on The Elders’ plot to snatch him back and ruin his Uncle’s plans. ‘Familial Duties Provision’, my ass. He was willing to bet a Hyuuga had had a hand in writing that decree when the village was first founded. He shifted again in a vain attempt at comfort, and closed his eyes.

He was mid-transition from doze to deep sleep when there was a loud banging at his door.


A white eye cracked open. That very distinct yodel sounded like his teacher.

“Neji, are you home?”

Slightly more polite but no less vocal, that was definitely Rock Lee. Neji groaned.

“Are you even sure this is the right place?”

Tenten at least had the decency to sound vaguely annoyed.

A sigh escaped him. This was unfortunate. He deliberately hadn’t given his teammates his new address when he’d seen them earlier that morning before Shizune had found him. It wasn’t as though the information wasn’t readily available, but he’d been hoping in his neglecting to give them directions they would realize he didn’t want company. That was asking for too much, Neji supposed. Not that it mattered; he wasn’t getting up. They could come back later.

His doorknob jiggled. There was a click.

Were they serious?

“Ooh, this is very lovely inside isn’t it?” Lee crooned. Neji could hear his footsteps as he pranced around admiring the apartment.

“Of course it is -- Neji has awesome taste,” Tenten stated, but Neji could see her shadow following Lee’s around through the shoji screen.

The place wasn’t that big; it was only a matter of time before they converged on the niche. Neji thought to move, hide under the covers for an ounce of dignity in the situation but wasn’t able to do more than twitch a leg. Fortunately, it was a plastic bag full of takeout held by Gai's large hand that was first to greet him, followed by his mentor peeking around to the left of the shoji screen and near-blinding Neji when the late morning sun bounced off his smile. To the right, Lee mirrored the pose with another carry-out bag that smelled like herring soba.

“Neji, to celebrate your Youthful Flight From The Nest, we bring you--” Gai broke off into an indignant squeal as he took in Neji’s state of undress and absolutely venomous expression.

Whatever Lee was going to add curdled in his throat as his eyes comically rounded and his mouth dropped. It was barely a second before his sense of propriety kicked in; he schooled his features and ordered his eyes to study the wall, but the damage had already been done.

There was a disgruntled sigh. “That wasn’t how you two practiced it.” Tenten ducked under Gai’s extended arm and had just made eye contact with Neji before his team leader twirled her around and blocked her path.

“Tenten.” Gai stood with hands akimbo, curry takeout dangling in distraction. “A woman shouldn’t wander freely in a man’s bedroom.”

“What?” Tenten scoffed. “It’s a one room apartment.” She placed a hand on her hip and radiated exasperation.

Lee appeared at Gai’s elbow to take the food. He fumbled a bit as he handed a bag to Tenten, who just barely managed to save the meal from the floor. “Let’s set this up in the kitchen, Tenten!” Lee suggested with a smile. As he cast a furtive glance in Neji’s direction, his cheeks pinked with embarrassment. “Ah, you do have dishes, right Neji?”

Neji growled something unintelligible.

Lee had been trying not to stare. Neji’s mental scowl threatened to give him a headache. Lee had never seen his bare forehead and Neji found he had preferred it that way.

How was it he had less privacy now than on Hyuuga land?

“Do you mind?” Neji grumbled, meeting his teacher’s dumbfounded expression with a mutinous one of his own.

Maito Gai dragged a hand down his face. And almost immediately, as though he could wipe away his Youth, Neji’s mentor became the man Neji could talk to without the urges to strangle him. Gai knelt down on the floor and took up Neji’s closest hand to sandwich in between his large warm ones.

“Neji,” Gai frowned, his face uncomfortably close to the younger boy’s. “What happened?”

Knowing that this was likely the only improvement to Gai’s disposition that he was going to get did not help matters. “Would you believe a training accident?” Neji asked, because he didn’t want to lie to his teacher.

Big manly tears welled in Gai’s eyes as he shook his head in distraught denial. “Do you think so little of me that you Can’t Confide in your Loving Mentor?”

Shit. Neji blinked. Was he not the one mostly naked in his own home being intruded upon? His team shouldn’t even be here. He pulled his hand from Gai’s grasp, attempted to sit up and cover himself but only succeeded in jarring his injured parts and half turning his back to Gai so the other man wouldn’t see him wincing in pain. He reached for the ice pack to find it had melted. Just my luck.

“Lee, bring some ice,” Gai ordered before Neji could properly mourn its loss.

He could hear rummaging in the kitchen -- quite possibly for a glass -- before the freezer door opened. “None here, Gai-sensei.”

“There’s a machine at the end of the hall,” Neji gritted out.

“Take Tenten,” Gai added.

“But I want to know what’s going on,” Tenten protested, but obediently followed Lee out the door.

“Neji,” Gai began in the most serious tone the Hyuuga had ever heard from him. “What have you done to yourself?”

“What I had to,” Neji answered. He didn’t turn around to face his teacher. Gai didn’t understand and he never would.

Lee would always be Gai’s favorite. Even if Neji beat Lee one thousand times out of one thousand challenges, to Gai, the fact that Lee had tried so hard would always make Lee one thousand times better than Neji. According to his teacher’s ‘Rules’ one really could win for losing. Being on Team Gai was almost a near constant reminder of who he was to the Hyuuga Clan -- a genius who did not exist. But Neji would never say his teacher was inadequate in any way; Gai was merely the person a student required him to be. And if Neji couldn’t bring himself to divulge that he needed to be acknowledged, that he was tired of being punished for being such a daedal shinobi, then that was hardly Gai’s fault for not noticing.

His existence was an obstacle that someone always felt they had to overcome. Only one person had ever stopped to look back at what he’d stepped on to progress. Neji exhaled noisily. It was a bad day when daydreams of Naruto did little to soothe him.

“I had to serve them last night.” The young Hyuuga laughed mirthlessly. “You should have heard them -- scheduling a breeding plan in between missions for me as though I were a prized peacock--” Neji bit his lip momentarily, saw his teacher’s solemn expression out of the corner of his eye. “Sorry. You made me promise not to talk about anything concerning the Souke. I broke it again. I apologize.”

Neji had believed that would be the end of it. The Souke didn’t rule Gai’s life, so he was capable of ignoring them. Gai had never understood that Neji didn’t have that luxury. In Gai’s presence Neji was only allowed to shut up and deal. Knowing how his mentor felt, Neji was unprepared for Maito Gai to leap upon his bed and gently pull Neji into his arms.

The embrace was loose but the younger man was shocked into rigidity. Until that moment he had thought it was well established that he did not like to be touched. Normally, people tended to respect that. But Gai was not normal by any means. He wasn’t forceful. He was just what Neji needed him to be in that moment. It had been a long time since anyone had held him. Neji rested his cursed forehead on Gai’s flak jacket, closed his eyes, and relaxed. It had been a very stressful couple of days.

He didn’t startle when his teammates returned, merely eased out the embrace and cast about for something to cover the Seal.

“Gai-sensei, we’ve got ice!” Lee announced.

“Good.” Gai reached for the ice pack only to have Neji’s hand ward Gai’s away with a piercing look for Gai’s trouble.

His teacher’s black eyes were as guileless as ever and Neji’s mortification quickly dissipated. For once he wasn’t being reprimanded, he had the rest of the day off, and the aroma of herring soba drifting into his nostrils. His teammates were trying to take care of him. Even though he seemed to have no choice in the matter, he could think of worse things than what he was presented.

“I’ll get that.”

Aburame Shino's 'Bug on the Wall' Corner:

Upon talking to Ken he has willingly admitted that his chapter took forever.


Because he had to completely rewrite Tsunade's portions. Twice. The original scene contained parts like this:

====~- X -~====

One simply did not bare oneself to the Hokage. He hesitated for a moment; shock paralyzing his fingers, breath caught in his throat. Though he was prepared for this event he hadn’t actually expected her to accede so quickly. The Lady Godaime was essentially crippling her fighting force in doing as he asked. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why, but the tips of his fingers were faster at slipping into the waistband of his pants and tugging them down [...]

“Neji,” Tsunade began as she settled between his knees holding a pair of small pointed forceps. “What did you say to my grands-- Naruto before he left? He was really depressed before you talked to him.”

Neji couldn’t be sure this was the appropriate time to be having a conversation. He had lost sensation but he knew the Hokage held his balls in her hands.

====~- X -~====


Though both scenes are valid in their own way, this was changed to what you now see because Ken's Suspension of Disbelief had a meltdown. He wasn't even going to allow me to show this snippet, but his best friend talked him in to it with a well placed look that said, 'No sense keeping it hidden.'



( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 18th, 2011 01:07 pm (UTC)
i adore Gai. it's so refreshing to have him in the series and it's a shame he gets such limited love in the fandom.

many thanks as always and pimp away. i'm really happy you're enjoying it so much ^_^.

(Deleted comment)
Apr. 28th, 2011 07:02 pm (UTC)
ah. sorry. don't feel too bad, i was a little late when i didn't say that i would be. it was just a lot of words to wrestle into submission for chapter 04 -- you wouldn't have appreciated the 'raw' version. ^_^; trust me on that. and if my beta and i hadn't been able to fix it, i would have posted more fanart to buy more time (not that it's any good. but, meh)

Neji and Shikamaru together? why? i'm not picking on you, or disparaging your likes, i swear, i just really would like to understand the appeal of the pairing, and i value your opinion. tell you the truth, this fandom isn't a lot of fun for me because most of the pairings make absolutely no sense and i'm one of those weird, anal-retentive types that has to have undeniable proof and logic that can't be disproved before i'll back a couple. so. if you could just explain it to me that would be great.

oh. and i'm taking a 2-week hiatus from this particular fic. there are 3 others (2 short, 1 long) nagging me and i don't juggle fics well. sorry.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 29th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
ah. TJ. you've read her work, "Peer Bonding" and what not. but i will definitely find an appropriate way to express our gratitude.

i do completely agree about Neji getting screwed when it comes to his storyline, which is how he ended up one of my favorites -- i'm a sucker for angst. but that's also why until very recently Naruto was my absolute favorite character for this show, when i'd always blown off 'idiot' characters before. i don't know, for Naruto it was more like his brain protected him from his anger and loneliness instead of his being outright 'dumb'. there's a difference between 'has a hard time learning' and 'can't learn' after all.

so, i've read and digested your reasons, and i must say, at least you have reasons and they're really good too. some people say crazy things like "it makes no sense, but at least it's pretty" so, i definitely appreciate your taking the time to explain it without the shallow attached. but even with reasons like yours i still couldn't argue my brain into agreeing to 'maybe' it still adamantly states Chouji is perfect of Shikamaru. the end. thank you though, i am a bit more lenient.

i happen to find KakaIta reasonable too. i can actually see Itachi with a couple people and it wouldn't be weird though the timing would be pinched. But LeeGaa, i absolutely can not see at all. and i've tried -- it just doesn't compute.

the fics i'll be working on are all Naruto fandom, so you'll have plenty to read if you care for the pairings i'm about to do ^_^. if not, i offer my original work, though be warned, i'm a weirdo. but it'll keep you occupied at least.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 30th, 2011 02:05 am (UTC)
pairings with solid canon background, it's NaruSasuNaru



*deep sigh*

i quit.

*goes to cry in a corner*
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 30th, 2011 03:54 am (UTC)
Now, come here. Don't be like that. *patpat*

*sniffles* i also said i like pairings that make sense. Sasuke and Naruto Don't. since the beginning of the series it has been giving nothing but irrefutable evidence that Sasuke and Naruto don't mix. proximity does not make a relationship. personality does. compatibility at even the most basic level does. besides which, they were 12. and not that precocious. so: No.

Since the beginning of the friggin' series and Naruto had done nothing but go Sasukesasukesasukesasukeeeee~.

Naruto is also super lonely and ignored. Sasuke got nothing but praise. Naruto's brain functions at: 'if the most praised person would acknowledge me then it validates my existence'. so of course he screams 'Sasuke' and chases after him, but he's not really chasing Sasuke, he's chasing his own sense of self worth. that is not love. that is desperation. that is something broken. that is not angst. it's. just. sad. why i don't ship Sasuke and Naruto and never will can be found in The Absolute Defense of Sasuke's Character <-- there's even a snippet from The Fall of Icarus in it.

back in '04 when i was looking for someone who really resonated with Naruto i had to wait half the series, but finally Gaara and Neji presented themselves. and i was so happy even though i knew it would be years before anybody else caught on. and so for years, it feels like i've been punished for reading deeper into characters and not just going with the flow. so i believe Kishimoto didn't kill the natural development of Gaara's character. Gaara was always a sweet kid. would have grown up to be a sweet kid. would have tried harder to contain Shukaku if his raggedy Uncle hadn't talked too much amongst other things. so one headbutt later, we have Gaara doing what he would have naturally done. i love that Gaara thinks about nothing but Naruto. i loved that during his whole retrieval arc Naruto didn't spare a thought for Sasuke until after Gaara was pronounced dead. GaaNaru, NejiNaru, GaaNaruNeji = angst, comfort, and makes sense.

*blows nose*

Edited at 2011-05-02 07:40 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
May. 2nd, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
Yet, he's still chasing after him even though that hadn't been the case in years.

i guess i didn't explain it well. do over. Naruto's entire drive in life has been to be acknowledged by his village. even though their positions are reversed now, Naruto still considers Sasuke part of the village. that Sasuke completely blows Naruto off undermines Naruto's life goal and he can't go back on his word because that too is an affront to his goals and Ninja Way. Naruto's psyche about acceptance and relationships is a lot like a book: a bent page is still readable but a torn out one isn't. so Naruto has to look for that page for the novel to be complete. it doesn't matter about the other pages because they're in line like they're supposed to be.

*sighs* i don't think this is the right analogy either because it's giving Sasuke's page too much importance. um. how about you have 3 kids and one goes missing, even though you still have 2 left you still look for the missing 1 don't you?

Besides, I have Kishimoto on my team.

*shrugs* then i guess i'll have to make all of my fics AU (alternate or after universe) if i continue writing. i prefer to avoid confrontation which is why i usually run from conversations about 'canon' pairings. it's so much easier to ask about crack pairings than trying to argue with 'canon pairings' anything.

But anyway, I have to admit, I don't spend as much time thinking about character compatibility as some of the more devoted fans do.

devoted? not really. i dropped the fandom for years, but then i realized i needed to practice writing again if i ever want to get my own stuff published. the easiest way i could think of to gauge my ability was fanfiction and the only anime i'd been watching was HnG and Naruto. for HnG i hated the ending. so i tried to fix it. for Naruto, i wanted to be as true to the creator's characterization as possible and be able to back up what i write with the manga since its so popular.

Point being...Kishimoto rushed Gaara's development to the point that his character now is quite hard to connect to his character from part one

i completely agree with that. i've had plans to torture him explore and explain his character development since '04 before i quit fandom.

Gaara doesn't make a lot of sense, true. but Sasuke's character makes perfect sense and i've disliked this dude from the start, so it's a miracle that i can say that now and appreciate him for who he is.

but I find it frustrating sometimes that I can't picture whomever I'm talking with

the internet is both a blessing and a curse in that regard at times. *laughs* i guess i can be irrelevant too. i'm male, twenty-seven, the bf and i have been together since we were sixteen, we have 2 dogs. i'm American.

Apr. 16th, 2011 10:24 am (UTC)
this story brings to light so many things i had never even wondered about in 'naruto' universe.
i know Gai's belief that if u fight your hardest u're a winner regardless of whether u win or lose a match and i understood how beneficial that was for both Lee and TenTen but it never occurred to me how it would feel to Nenji; that he would see himself as an obstacle of others to overcome, as a genius that doesn't exist.
and i'm hating the elders right now. this is an inhuman system that they promote! familial duties?! f*** them! they expect their fighters to complete missions and not even be allowed to have a personal life or romantic relationships, just to take time off to make babies like cattle?! and what about their female members? they're supposed to what? keep having sex with the male members on rotation till they get pregnant?! this is insane: aren't they warriors as well? (Hinata and her sister are! and they can't reserve that position only for the Souke; all Hyuuga have the eyes so they can be trained and be invaluable in battle. do they leave the Bunke girls untrained or do they just take them off mission rotation for 10 months at a time?! I hope Naruto changes this system! meeeh, after this chapter i hate the Elders enough to wish Sasuke kill them as well; after trapping them in Tsukoyomi or what's its name for a while)
on another note i like your writing as a text. the way u put words together. i've enjoyed reading this very much. :)
Apr. 18th, 2011 01:30 pm (UTC)
well. to be fair, Gai's way of thinking is an underdog's way of thinking because that's what he was. can't blame him for that.

familial duties *headdesk* coming up with an official enough sounding name about killed me. to be fair, nobody is forced to become a shinobi -- but if you should choose it you have to be able to live with the consequences.

i don't know if you've noticed this, but in the Naruto'verse there are no other Hyuuga women besides Hinata and Hanabi. so i have no real idea how its supposed to go -- but i've got an approximation that Neji will explain in a chapter or two.

my writing as text... *^_^* thank you. (i'll have to be sure to pay my Beta an extra fanart or something for that compliment alone -- i'm really happy right now)
Apr. 19th, 2011 01:07 pm (UTC)
i'm willing to bet that one of these days, one of theirs will have enough and pull an Itachi on the entire Hyuuga clan. huh. i can certainly see the need for the seal nowl; if that wasn't an issue, someone would have bn annoyed enough with the stupid clan law and killed of the Souke ages ago...
will b happily waiting for new chapters :)

familial duties *headdesk* coming up with an official enough sounding name about killed me
it does sound official though. nice phrasing and the whole scene did appear very bureaucratic and official and old law-ish
Apr. 17th, 2011 05:54 am (UTC)
Hurray! I am enjoying the build up to this story. I am curious to how this will end up playing out. I hope you keep up the great work.
Apr. 18th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC)
thank you! i will definitely try very hard not to disappoint.
Apr. 17th, 2011 08:02 am (UTC)
I really like the way the Housewarming scene shaped up. ^_^ The team dynamic is spot-on and makes me grin. I'm glad Neji decides it's not so bad to have them all there.
Apr. 18th, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC)
i still keep thinking i forgot to add something, but damned if i remember what. if worse comes to worst (like that i got it right this time, huh?) i'll just do another house party when Naruto gets back (but he sure is taking his sweet-ass time).

and randomly: love your icon!
Apr. 19th, 2011 04:47 am (UTC)
worse comes to worst (like that i got it right this time, huh?)


From a reader's perspective, it doesn't feel like it's missing anything. All the same, I know what you mean about that niggling sense of 'what did I forget?'.

^_^ Chibi-photo of young Team Gai was too cute to pass up.
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